Inner Path Coaching, LLC

November 8, 2007

Creating Self Empowerment – A Women’s Approach

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I am in the process of writing a book that addresses the inner conflicts women have and what the path to self empowerment really means. This book is written for women typically ages 40-65 who are learning how to come into their power, use their gifts and are willing to be courageous enough to make the changes in their life that lead them to their highest self.

For many women, by the time they have raised their children, identified and moved through marital issues, and probably struggled through some physical illness of some sort – they have arrived in a place of letting go of the need to be understood and accepted by everyone else. Women are ready to drop the seemingly meaningless tasks of their life and put a focus on the things that matter most to them.

Women are relational and so we are often hyperaware of everyone else and too often we can lose awareness of our own needs. Sometimes we do this because we gain joy from serving others, but more often than that we do it because we think we need to adjust our own reality to fit in with others. And in this process, it is very easy to lose connection with self. We can often think that our value is only judged by our actions of how we take care of others. Women need to be gently reminded that their value and self worth has nothing to do with what they do for others. They simple are enough without having to do anything.

It seems like we are all looking for sources of information that help us feel validated and understood. In my practice and in my life in general I have several women who want to talk about where they are now and what it is they most want out of their life. They are realizing that it is worth the risk to change and walk through fear in order to do the things that seem the most important. Each woman defines this uniquely. Some decide to leave relationships that have no more possible growth, others might dedicate themselves to a new career path – based on their values and feelings of life purpose – rather than on money or the need to please family.

Often I find that women want to pose powerful questions to themselves in order to figure out how to move forward in their process. A typical question I notice women asking themselves is, “What is ONE thing I can do in my life that will make the biggest difference right now?” They intuitively know that the path to self discovery is often best met with small steps of caring actions toward self.

I know for myself, I spent a fair amount of my 20’s and 30’s thinking that it mattered what others thought of me, and thinking that I had to do everything by myself and that is was a weakness to ask for help. In my 40’s I have learned that NOT asking for support does not nurture and I am not serving myself with compassion and care when I think I need to do everything without help. Women come to coaching often because they realize that they are worth the investment and are ready to stop feeling guilty for tending to their own needs.

With two teenage daughters at home, I am very motivated to deepen this understanding and to put into action what I most know about self empowerment. I certainly want my daughters to pursue a life where they are pleasing themselves and serving their own inner purpose, thus making a profound difference in the lives of others that they touch.

I feel very compelled to write about self compassion, boundaries and awareness as tools to help women understand more about how to use their energy in positive and powerful ways. It is imperative that we all share our wisdom and experiences as ways to support each other. Hopefully, my book will give other women the extra encouragement and awareness they might need in order to go live the life of their own making.

Sandra Wood works with women who want a life of empowerment and self worth. She teaches women how to create powerful boundaries, deepen their own awareness and have the courage to use their personal strengths learned through experience and self wisdom.

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August 3, 2007

“You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your life for God’s sake!”

Filed under: Self Worth, Women's Empowerment — innerpathcoaching @ 10:35 am

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This line came from the movie, The Holiday. Kate Winslett proclaims this in her realization that she has allowed a man in her life to treat her as second best. She goes onto to enjoy and discover the beautiful self that she is, and in a truly romantic Hollywood way finds her true love.

I have not been able to get this quote out of my head and heart as I have thought of what it means to be the leading lady of my own life. In reflection I have seen a shadow side of myself that has tried to gain self esteem through my relationships with others, particularly men. I have neglected the most important person of all, and that is myself. There is no blame given here, only that I have come to realize my error in projecting my self worth onto others.

As women we are taught to take care of others starting at a very young age. We learn to value ourselves through serving others. I am learning to value myself through serving myself! I have- come to realize that in a twisted and less than flattering way, sometimes my need to help others comes from a place of feeling empty within myself.

Creating practices that remind me how amazing I am – sounds so “wrong’ according to the way I was raised. However, I am happier, more balanced and much more engaged with those that have flowed into my life when I make myself the leading lady. I am more creative, energetic and a person that others want to be around when I am filling my own cup. While this has not led thus far to a Hollywood version of romantic love, which is only an illusion anyway, I have something I did not have before, ME! And a growing awareness of how to build self esteem from within.

Sandra Wood is founder and owner of Inner Path Coaching, LLC. She coaches women who are struggling with relationships and career and want a balanced and empowered life.

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