Inner Path Coaching, LLC

August 24, 2008

Change-How to Roll with It

Change always happens, but often times the movement of change is subtle and unnoticeable in our daily routines and distractions of daily living. Sometimes it comes in happy forms such as a new baby, a new home, or an exciting relationship. However, when change comes in the form of illness, accidents, job loss or changing relationships, we view it as more of a challenge, and often can be stuck, depressed, angry and not sure of what to do next.

This summer I found myself dealing with unwanted change and unfortunately depression soon followed it. This forced me to re-evaluate and re-direct my energy. No matter how many times I go through tough challenges I have come to understand that CHANGE IS LIFE and that I always eventually adapt. Sometimes, I just don’t like it and am not very gracious about it’s presence in my life.

The five stages of grief do come into effect with the big life changes and they are not to be denied or swept away. Change can make you cranky, tired, depressed as well as energized and ready to try new things.

It is helpful to find value and meaning within the experience. Either way, life changing events pull us to grow and often more then we want, to accept and adapt.

Useful tips when it comes to change:

  • Let go of what “was” even when you don’t know what “is” yet.
  • Remind yourself that often your life choices led you to the change you are experiencing.
  • Change often leads to bigger and better things (even when you can’t see it or don’t want to hear it!)
  • Change is always happening but we mostly notice it when we are forced to do new things.
  • Accept where you are.
  • Create forward motion, one step at a time.
  • Realize it is OK that you might not have the answers because maybe you haven’t ever had THIS challenge before.
  • Accept responsibility for your actions and be kind to yourself.
  • Change is the vehicle for growth and it is simply a part of the human experience.

July 27, 2007

What Most Life Coaches Won’t Tell You

Filed under: Life Coaching, Personal Growth — innerpathcoaching @ 1:24 pm

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I have spent my entire life being the kind of person that says things she probably shouldn’t say, who often talks too much, and discloses much personal information. However, with that flaw, has come a great gift, I am willing to talk about things that many people hide and pretend don’t exist.

What most Life Coaches won’t tell you is that they struggle profoundly with all the same life issues that their clients do. Most Life Coaches have amazing gifts in awareness, intuition and practical approaches to everyday problems. THAT is great! However, it doesn’t mean that they don’t struggle with depression, self judgment, relationship problems or financial issues of their own. I have always felt open to my clients in sharing my experiences, but I never wanted to convey many of my struggles for I did not want them to think I was incompetent.

As I sat with a young client of mine earlier this week, she shared her reluctance to end our coaching sessions as she was unsure of how to keep the positive momentum going without coaching. I realized that it was important for me to help her continue to create support in her life. I offered her a lower coaching rate to work with her budget, to help her keep the feeling of support in her life. As I sat and talked with her, I realized that I had not created the same thing for myself.

One of the gifts of being a coach is that you have an opportunity to grow in all the ways that you see your clients growing. I used to think that I had to be perfect and have a complete handle on all the things my clients presented me with. Well……this was unrealistic and I put far too much pressure on myself with these thoughts.

After meeting with my young client, I started to re-evaluate the support I have in my life. I realized that I had neglected myself. Independence and self sufficiency is a powerful tool and important for us all, however learning to create support that works takes tenacity and a deepened sense of self appreciation and love.

Frankly, it takes a ton of tenacity and an intelligent mind to stay in the field of personal growth in general. For me, I am allowing myself the freedom to truly let others know that while I think I am amazing at what I do with people, I am still challenged in my own life.

I know for me, being honest about my imperfections and the pitfalls of being a coach is a way for me to embrace my challenges while not hiding them from those that truly do care. And perhaps this actually helps others realize that we ALL are imperfect, we all struggle, and that sharing how we deal with our challenges is the most helpful thing of all.

Sandra is founder and owner of Inner Path Coaching, LLC. She coaches people though life challenges and inspires individuals to travel their inner path where healthy change and balanced living is achieved.

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