Depression: An Unlikely Teacher

I have spent a fair amount of my life being present to people who have depression, and have sat with it myself in relation to my own hormonal changes.

I am almost nervous to write about depression for the fear that I might offend or misrepresent what depression is for others. It seems to me that it is often a condition or a result of the human experience.

This past week, I sat with one my male clients as he discussed the heaviness of his present state of living. I really had no suggestions or solutions for him, as I have come to terms with the understanding that depression is as unique as the person who is experiencing it. I cannot presume to have another person’s answers, only the compassion to sit and be available to what is currently needed.

In my study of Taoism I have come to accept not only the lovely uprisings of my life, but the low points as well. It seems such a paradigm to tell a depressed person to be fully in their experience, for often that experience is so rich in emotion and numbness that being fully present to it can be dangerous. However, often times I think we label ourselves as broken when we are just experiencing something of great depth and unfortunately of great pain.

A healer of mine once told me that my depression was ME feeling my life. With that perspective, I was able to see that perhaps my feelings had the most wisdom of all. Somehow that perspective allowed me to ease my way into the understanding that my life has patterns and while depression is not my favorite pattern, it has something to teach me.

Perhaps, I won’t need this heaviness as a teacher as I travel more inward into my own lovely and confusing landscape. Lately, my acceptance and understanding of my own ups and downs seems to have given me a bit more ease when I am clenched around something that seems so difficult or painful.

A good friend of mine who has shared a lot of his experiences with me regarding depression once told me that often others want to fix depression because then everything will be “okay”. This idea in itself sends the message that we need to be fixed. I have found it most profound that when I am present to others in my coaching, I have the wisdom to know that nobody needs to be fixed, and that we aren’t broken in the first place. He suggested to me that depression might just be a part of what we experience as we walk into deeper realizations and learn to express ourselves more completely. We can allow awareness to flood our life, and perhaps that awareness comes through the journey of depression. His words ring true to me, as I have taken them inward.

It is tremendously challenging to be loving to self while depressed. For me, that has been the practice – staying aware of all that is arising, while being present to the knowing that even while I am experiencing depression, I am not the depression itself.

I can only hope that others with this experience can feel that wisdom from within and know that beyond this experience, they are so much more.

Sandra Wood is founder and owner of Inner Path Coaching, LLC. She coaches women who are struggling with relationships and career and want a balanced and empowered life.

Technorati Tags: Life Coaching, Depression, Depression and Men, Inner Wisdom, Compassion, Emotions, Feelings, Hormones, Taoism

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Dreamland Wisdom about Presence

These days you can’t get too far into the world of personal growth without hearing something along the lines of being present. I have spent much time sitting with the idea of presence and wanting to take this idea beyond being a concept. What does it really mean to be present?

Two nights ago while I was sleeping I noticed a woman was next to me the whole time as I moved through my dream state dramas. She kept following me out of one dream and into another.

Finally, out of irritation and curiosity, I turned to her and asked her “WHO are you?” She looked at me and said, “I’m Presence.” In my dream state I began to get a feeling for what she was trying to show me and I asked her, “Is Presence simply just being Aware?” She paused, and answered, “Yes, but awareness AND acceptance marry Presence.” I then asked her why she was hanging out so long with me in my dreams. She laughed and said, “I am ALWAYS here, you are just noticing me now.”

Since my dream, I have played around with what this information has felt like, what it means to me, and just how one goes about verbalizing something that truly has no words. Being present feels like an alert state, yet one with ease. I am accepting of what is happening, yet fully in my power to shift or change if needed. Sometimes, nothing needs to be done. Other times, action is needed. Presence always tells me what my options are, yet there is NO agenda or need for me to be, do or act in any particular way. Presence is non- judgmental, loving and always open for my unique expression or experience.

Presence is everything, and presence is nothing. I realize that everything is transient; emotions, thoughts, events, moods…all of it. Nothing is permanent, all is changing and that is the beauty of Presence. I remember, and will forget again and again that I am always here in Presence, regardless of what shows up.

 

Sandra is founder and owner of Inner Path Coaching, LLC . She coaches people though life challenges and inspires individuals to travel their inner path where healthy change and balanced living is achieved.

Image by Alex Bramwell on istockphoto.

Technorati Tags: Awareness, Inner Wisdom, Presence, Dreams, Personal Growth

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