Change-How to Roll with It

Change always happens, but often times the movement of change is subtle and unnoticeable in our daily routines and distractions of daily living. Sometimes it comes in happy forms such as a new baby, a new home, or an exciting relationship. However, when change comes in the form of illness, accidents, job loss or changing relationships, we view it as more of a challenge, and often can be stuck, depressed, angry and not sure of what to do next.

This summer I found myself dealing with unwanted change and unfortunately depression soon followed it. This forced me to re-evaluate and re-direct my energy. No matter how many times I go through tough challenges I have come to understand that CHANGE IS LIFE and that I always eventually adapt. Sometimes, I just don’t like it and am not very gracious about it’s presence in my life.

The five stages of grief do come into effect with the big life changes and they are not to be denied or swept away. Change can make you cranky, tired, depressed as well as energized and ready to try new things.

It is helpful to find value and meaning within the experience. Either way, life changing events pull us to grow and often more then we want, to accept and adapt.

Useful tips when it comes to change:

• Let go of what “was” even when you don’t know what “is” yet.
• Remind yourself that often your life choices led you to the change you are experiencing.
• Change often leads to bigger and better things (even when you can’t see it or don’t want to hear it!)
• Change is always happening but we mostly notice it when we are forced to do new things.
• Accept where you are.
• Create forward motion, one step at a time.
• Realize it is OK that you might not have the answers because maybe you haven’t ever had THIS challenge before.
• Accept responsibility for your actions and be kind to yourself.
• Change is the vehicle for growth and it is simply a part of the human experience.

Depression as a Reminder

A few weeks back, I had a wonderful comment on my website from an individual that had read my previous article about depression. The enclosed comment got me to thinking more about depression, and rather than posting a very long reply to this wonderful comment, I decided to blog post this exchange.

My own experience with depression has made me see it as a blessing rather than a burden. Depression has led me to rearrange my inner map from time to time, and the most severe bouts with depression have come when I needed to change the most. I have gone from being a very selfish, cold, self-centered person, to being one that is capable of love, vulnerability, and far less fear. Life seems far more complex and sacred now that I see a spiritual reality sustaining the world we live in. Sadly, when I try to explain it to others they think I’m a bit off. Recently, a young member of our family was diagnosed with depression, and I have insisted that the family not pathologize his condition. I’m not sure the rest of the family believes me–they are so sure that we have bad genes–but perhaps books like “The Depression Advantage” will help change that.

Thank you for your wonderful comments. I have also come to see depression as a reminder that some things in my life want my attention. Often times, it is a simple reminder to be gentle with myself, but to also create some movement and to realize that I have control over what kind of energy I can create. I can’t “will” myself out of depression, but through awareness I can make things happen. These days, I can feel a simple hint of that energy, and I know it is a good time to readjust.

For me, depression has been a reminder to express myself honestly, both with myself and with others. It is true, one must be capable of being vulnerable, walking forth even when fear is there, and learning what love means to them. And yes, I agree-life IS far more complex and sacred than we think. Once we begin to realize that, I think everything then simplifies! To just know that you aren’t going to know everything, get everything, or understand everything-is truly a relief.

It is unfortunate that when we see our family tendencies, genetic pre-dispositions and traits, that we give up. Each person’s depression is as unique as who they are. To think that we are just like our family and that we must suffer like others is truly unnecessary. So often, we only see our challenges as something to get over, move past, and be ashamed of.

Our challenges are almost always a gateway into discovering something more amazing, unique and beautiful about our journey. Depression and cancer (another challenge of mine) usually are only seen as enemies to defeat. With that kind of attitude, we only war with ourselves. I like to call these challenges, Dark Gifts………ones I will never deny as unique and helpful. They might have been difficult, but they were gifts, not enemies to contend with, and certainly not some sort of “sentence” of how my life will be from now until my death.

Each day, we get to choose what kind of awareness, light, love and wisdom we want to employ. So often, we forget again and again how amazing the human journey really is. I am reminded myself each time depression peaks its head into my energy-that I have power over a life that is expansive and even with heavy energy in my life-it does not have to define who I am.

Thank you again for your wisdom, I wish you and your family well.

Sandra Wood works with women who want a life of empowerment and self worth. She teaches women how to create powerful boundaries, deepen their own awareness and have the courage to use their personal strengths learned through experience and self wisdom.

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