Change-How to Roll with It

Change always happens, but often times the movement of change is subtle and unnoticeable in our daily routines and distractions of daily living. Sometimes it comes in happy forms such as a new baby, a new home, or an exciting relationship. However, when change comes in the form of illness, accidents, job loss or changing relationships, we view it as more of a challenge, and often can be stuck, depressed, angry and not sure of what to do next.

This summer I found myself dealing with unwanted change and unfortunately depression soon followed it. This forced me to re-evaluate and re-direct my energy. No matter how many times I go through tough challenges I have come to understand that CHANGE IS LIFE and that I always eventually adapt. Sometimes, I just don’t like it and am not very gracious about it’s presence in my life.

The five stages of grief do come into effect with the big life changes and they are not to be denied or swept away. Change can make you cranky, tired, depressed as well as energized and ready to try new things.

It is helpful to find value and meaning within the experience. Either way, life changing events pull us to grow and often more then we want, to accept and adapt.

Useful tips when it comes to change:

• Let go of what “was” even when you don’t know what “is” yet.
• Remind yourself that often your life choices led you to the change you are experiencing.
• Change often leads to bigger and better things (even when you can’t see it or don’t want to hear it!)
• Change is always happening but we mostly notice it when we are forced to do new things.
• Accept where you are.
• Create forward motion, one step at a time.
• Realize it is OK that you might not have the answers because maybe you haven’t ever had THIS challenge before.
• Accept responsibility for your actions and be kind to yourself.
• Change is the vehicle for growth and it is simply a part of the human experience.

The Still Point of the Turning World

“At the still point of the turning world…
there the dance is…
Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.”
(T.S. Eliot)

Awareness is like a never ending deepening pool. It isn’t mysterious, but it often feels complicated to me. It is simply where you put your attention and what you see there. Often, sometimes what I see there confuses me. There are too many characters!

One thing that I have learned is that the best way to approach awareness is from a space of non-judgment. Sometimes this is difficult for me. It usually isn’t my challenges that present the problem; it is my self-judgment that creates internal noise, and all the internal selves reacting and responding to my life events. I am often challenged by belief systems, old hurts and patterns that often muck up the waters of clear awareness.

Today in my weekly Sunday dance class it was suggested by the facilitator that we realize how often our bodies change movement according to the mood and energy of the music we are listening to. I have played with this idea often while dancing, sometimes slowing myself during intense rhythm in order to find another way of being with the vibrant beat of the music.

I have noticed in my life how easily swayed I can be by the external “music” – grumpy children, financial concerns, a sad friend… All these things can easily sway me into a place where I am dancing to music that I don’t want to. Add these challenges to that inner choir or critical “selves” that reside within me, and I am certainly in a space of feeling overwhelmed. However, often, I begin to realize that while there is a noisy chorus of emotions and thoughts, there is a place that is not swayed by the music.

Somewhere within me is a self, a presence, that doesn’t fall over with the intense music of life. If I did not have this presence, I think I would stay stuck in self- judgment and all the events of my life. I can’t really see her as readily as I can see other parts of myself because she is much quieter and often gets overshadowed. However, I think she is the strongest part of who I am.

Sometimes, I just happen upon her and discover her complete lack of concern for my life conditions. She doesn’t care if my house is clean, if anyone else around her is happy, if the day is cloudy or sunny. She is simply there, timeless, and expansive in her ability to be present to all that life is at that moment. I am grateful for her presence. She reminds me that all of life is changing, ever evolving and can never be counted on to be a particular way. I find sanctuary in her presence, knowing that there is nothing to do, to get, to understand in order for me to exist, in order for me to be okay. She reminds me that I am okay, regardless of the conditions of my life and how “well” I am handling them. Many people would label her my Higher Self, or my Authentic Self. It isn’t important to me what I call her, only that she is there. It is so easy to forget her. However, when I remember to shine my light of awareness deep down into the mucky muck of my interior landscape, I see her steadfastness and her quiet love. Even if it is for a fleeting moment, I am able to remember her. It is a gift to be aware, and one that I know I will journey with all my years on this planet. I take it light, and I take it deep, and I am ever so grateful that this quiet presence remains my constant companion.

Sandra Wood is founder and owner of Inner Path Coaching, LLC. She coaches individuals who are struggling with relationships and career and want a balanced and empowered life.

Technorati Tags:Being Centered, Authentic Self, Dancing, Awareness, Life Coaching, Still Point, T.S. Elliot

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