A few weeks back, I had a wonderful comment on my website from an individual that had read my previous article about depression. The enclosed comment got me to thinking more about depression, and rather than posting a very long reply to this wonderful comment, I decided to blog post this exchange.
My own experience with depression has made me see it as a blessing rather than a burden. Depression has led me to rearrange my inner map from time to time, and the most severe bouts with depression have come when I needed to change the most. I have gone from being a very selfish, cold, self-centered person, to being one that is capable of love, vulnerability, and far less fear. Life seems far more complex and sacred now that I see a spiritual reality sustaining the world we live in. Sadly, when I try to explain it to others they think I’m a bit off. Recently, a young member of our family was diagnosed with depression, and I have insisted that the family not pathologize his condition. I’m not sure the rest of the family believes me–they are so sure that we have bad genes–but perhaps books like “The Depression Advantage” will help change that.
Thank you for your wonderful comments. I have also come to see depression as a reminder that some things in my life want my attention. Often times, it is a simple reminder to be gentle with myself, but to also create some movement and to realize that I have control over what kind of energy I can create. I can’t “will” myself out of depression, but through awareness I can make things happen. These days, I can feel a simple hint of that energy, and I know it is a good time to readjust.
For me, depression has been a reminder to express myself honestly, both with myself and with others. It is true, one must be capable of being vulnerable, walking forth even when fear is there, and learning what love means to them. And yes, I agree-life IS far more complex and sacred than we think. Once we begin to realize that, I think everything then simplifies! To just know that you aren’t going to know everything, get everything, or understand everything-is truly a relief.
It is unfortunate that when we see our family tendencies, genetic pre-dispositions and traits, that we give up. Each person’s depression is as unique as who they are. To think that we are just like our family and that we must suffer like others is truly unnecessary. So often, we only see our challenges as something to get over, move past, and be ashamed of.
Our challenges are almost always a gateway into discovering something more amazing, unique and beautiful about our journey. Depression and cancer (another challenge of mine) usually are only seen as enemies to defeat. With that kind of attitude, we only war with ourselves. I like to call these challenges, Dark Gifts………ones I will never deny as unique and helpful. They might have been difficult, but they were gifts, not enemies to contend with, and certainly not some sort of “sentence” of how my life will be from now until my death.
Each day, we get to choose what kind of awareness, light, love and wisdom we want to employ. So often, we forget again and again how amazing the human journey really is. I am reminded myself each time depression peaks its head into my energy-that I have power over a life that is expansive and even with heavy energy in my life-it does not have to define who I am.
Thank you again for your wisdom, I wish you and your family well.
Sandra Wood works with women who want a life of empowerment and self worth. She teaches women how to create powerful boundaries, deepen their own awareness and have the courage to use their personal strengths learned through experience and self wisdom.
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I’ve had depression for most of my early life. It certainly calls out for transformation. I loved the description in “Care of the Soul” about the mythology of Saturn and the benefits therein. Depression can be a transformational experience, because there has to be some death for something new to be born.
Loving Awareness : A Journey to Wholeness
Comment by Matthew Spears — January 21, 2008 @ 10:33 am
I often think that highly sensitive individuals are ones who get struck down by depression. It does call for transformation and hard work to overcome the challenges it brings. I love the book, Care of the Soul-it is a gentle reminder that self compassion and awareness is truly the best tool set to have with any challenge.
Comment by innerpathcoaching — August 24, 2008 @ 8:19 pm