This line came from the movie, The Holiday. Kate Winslett proclaims this in her realization that she has allowed a man in her life to treat her as second best. She goes onto to enjoy and discover the beautiful self that she is, and in a truly romantic Hollywood way finds her true love.
I have not been able to get this quote out of my head and heart as I have thought of what it means to be the leading lady of my own life. In reflection I have seen a shadow side of myself that has tried to gain self esteem through my relationships with others, particularly men. I have neglected the most important person of all, and that is myself. There is no blame given here, only that I have come to realize my error in projecting my self worth onto others.
As women we are taught to take care of others starting at a very young age. We learn to value ourselves through serving others. I am learning to value myself through serving myself! I have- come to realize that in a twisted and less than flattering way, sometimes my need to help others comes from a place of feeling empty within myself.
Creating practices that remind me how amazing I am - sounds so “wrong’ according to the way I was raised. However, I am happier, more balanced and much more engaged with those that have flowed into my life when I make myself the leading lady. I am more creative, energetic and a person that others want to be around when I am filling my own cup. While this has not led thus far to a Hollywood version of romantic love, which is only an illusion anyway, I have something I did not have before, ME! And a growing awareness of how to build self esteem from within.
Sandra Wood is founder and owner of Inner Path Coaching, LLC. She coaches women who are struggling with relationships and career and want a balanced and empowered life.
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